Then this...
- Me: I cannot lie, my mind is a perv. Fass and Hiddles... I subconsciously shippd that.
- LaLa: I don't know who I would ship Tom with... maybe Cumberbatch, even though I don't personally like him. They just seem like a cute couple.
- Me: Too cute. I'm going more for like naughty and nice. ROFL.
- LaLa: Of course you are.
- Me: Also, according to Tom's male cameltoe, he's also packing heat.
- Me: Look, I was asleep goddamnit! Don't judge me!
- LaLa: You dream about gay sex?
- Me: Yes. More often than I'd admit to just anyone. Like ALL THE TIME!
- Me: Gay sex might be my topmost sexual dreams. I am rarely a partner in my own fucking sex dreams, if you can believe this.
- LaLa: rofl You should write fan fics then.
- Me: It'd be upsetting if it wasn't like Hiddles and Fassbender, or like.. IDK two very beautiful men.
- Me: I SHOULD. But there is enough.
- LaLa: 50 Shades of Grey. That's all I'm saying.
Can you follow this?
- Me: Apparently Tom replaced Fass in the vampire flick. Fass would've been in Detroit. I wonder how he is with fans, I haven't learned him so thoroughly as I have Tom. Like would he write a fucking letter? Probably not.
- LaLa: Lmao he seems meanish.
- Me: He seems cocky. Which, is sexy from afar. But I'd hate to have to slap a Brigga!
- LaLa: If tom is ever within a 800 mile radius, i.e. less than a 24 hr bus ride, I'm going to stalk him.
- Me: But in interviews he has a sense of humor, so I think he's one of those people who might look unapproachable, but be really warm if you're not intimidated by him.
- Me: Like Jeremy Renner's sitting face looks like he will kill your kittens and put their bodies on your breakfast plate. But he seems nice enough, actually. ROFL.
- LaLa: lol
- Me: Now that I know he apparently doesn't mind being hotel stalked, I have allowed myself to accept hotel stalking as a possibility.
- LaLa: His smiling faces looks like he will kill your kittens and put their bodies on your breakfast plate.
- Me: ROFL
My BFF is made of win, though.
- Me: The thing about Fass and Hiddles is that... neither of them as just physical specimens are perfect. Like, Tom is literally the best person in the world. Fassbender, like... in every role. Good or bad. Nice guy or asshole. He just is that fucking guy you HAVE to root for. Like, Fassbender could actually kill all your kittens and place them on your breakfast plate and try as you might, you wouldn't be able to hate him for it.
- Me: Tom would NEVER kill your precious kittens! He would go to the store to buy some fresh chicken cutlets to feed to your kittens. He would read poems to the kittens while they sipped their milk and then he would place them on HIS pillow so they could sleep comfortably. He would go outside and fetch some wood for the fireplace so the kittens are warm and sleeping soundly. He would make tea for you and himself, but would make sure to close the door so the sound of the kettle whistling won't rouse the precious kittens.
- Me: But the thing is Tom is also a sociopath.
- LaLa: Plot twist.
